Monday, July 5, 2010

Meanwhile, Back on Planet VickiJoan

  Last Friday, I played with Vicki and Joan again, two of my friends from the Bisti Writing Project.  I played with them last year for the first time, and they are members of the Western New Mexico Lunatic Fringe League (great name).  Follow this link to check out their blog/site: wnmlfgolf.blogspot.com/.


  After this post, I will copy and paste the entry from my journal that tells what happened the first time we played for my next post.  If you want to read it in chronological order, read that post first.


7-5-10
   I just put away my clothes.  Cell phone is charging.  It’s the day after the 4th of July, and I am relaxing and writing.  And, I just finished playing golf with Chris, Tim, and Pat.  I asked Chris to see if he could play with me yesterday on the 4th of July.  I tried Bruce and C.J., too, but because of the holiday nobody could (or would) play with me.  So, I played by myself.  We did have a big family get-together at the (last name's), so I only played nine holes.  Because of the volleyball tournament, playing nine holes was just right.
   I have the Planet VickiJoan experience to share, so I’ll start with that.
   Playing with Vicki and Joan again was fantastic.
  They remind me of all the fun and wonderful things golf provides for all who play, and once again, they made me feel like a golf expert.  They are serious about not taking themselves too seriously, and that goes for the game of golf as well.  We ended up playing together because I couldn’t get a hold of Bruce or C.J., and I got to sit next to Vicki at the end of the Bisti Writing Project summer class.  I told her I had started a golf blog, and so had she, so we traded golf blog addresses.  She said she was going to play at Civitan the next day, so I asked if I could come along.  She said, “Yes!”
   Vicki’s blog is all about the Western New Mexico Lunatic Fringe Golf League.  It’s probably a blog as well as the official site of their wacky and wonderful league.  These are their “rules.”

** You don't have to count your strokes if you don't want to.

** If you end up playing with other golfers who are too tense or too competitive, develop a headache and exit the course.

**On a big golf course, play with at least one good golfer and play Scramble.

**Practice swings don't count.

**Recommended--invite 13 year old friends to accompany you to the big golf courses. They are FUN and are good at finding lost golf balls in rocks and under bushes.

**No throwing clubs or turning red in the face. (It should go without saying...)

**No day that includes golf can be a bad day.

   I am happy to report that neither Vicki or Joan developed a headache or exited the course.  They stopped after nine holes to go get an iced coffee (their routine), though.  I wanted to join them, but they are members at Civitan, a par three course, and I am not.  I wanted to get my full $8.00 worth.  Players used to be able to leave the course and come back later in the day if they wanted, but not anymore, so I stayed to play nine more holes.  Players also used to be able to play as many holes as they wanted with one fee, but that rule is now also gone.  Still a great deal for golf.
   At the luncheon, Vicki told some of the others that I am a “real golfer.”  To me, however, anyone who tees it up and gives it a go, is a “real golfer.”
   I played well, and so did they.  I felt bad for Vicki (although I am sure she doesn’t care, or if she does care, it’s the tiniest amount of caring).  I know she is better off the first tee, but somehow when I am there, it’s not so good.  She missed completely on her first swing, hit one off the toe on her second, and her third went off the toe again, but that shot went a bit farther, so she decided to play that one.  Something similar happened last year when I played with them for the first time ever. 
   This is all fine with them (and me), and that’s part of what is so fun about playing with the Western New Mexico Lunatic Fringe.  Remember, practice swings don’t count, so if no contact is made at all, it’s immediately announced as a practice swing.  More importantly, you don’t have to keep score if you don’t want to, which can also be translated as, “I’ll write down any score that sounds good and decent to me when I am done with a hole.”
   I noticed great improvement in both players this time.  Vicki had three (and maybe more) “real golfer” double-putts on holes #5, #7, and #8.  Sure, she might have taken five or six “real” strokes to get on the green, but those double-putts were awesome, especially the one on #5 where she put her ball right next to the hole on her first putt from a long way away.
   Joan kept saying her putting was awful, but then her putting would prove her wrong hole after hole.  She lipped out on three holes (getting closer and closer with each attempt), and when she got to hole #7, she made a putt from around thirty feet, a curling left to righty that dropped dead center.  Huge celebration and laughter!  Her putting was making a liar out of her.  Joan also caught “good air” off the tee numerous times.
   I chuckled about the scene on hole #5 when Vicki took her turn to tee off.  Joan and I had both successfully “caught air,” but when Vicki was getting ready to tee off, I glanced at the geese.  They seemed to know they were in mortal danger.  If they could talk, they might have said, “Vicki’s about to tee off.  Move.  Move faster.”
   They were well to the left of Vicki, down by the water there, but they moved with a purpose.  Vicki settled into her shot and took her swing.  Her ball shot out low and left, heading straight for the rocks, the water, and yes, the geese.  No geese were harmed in the making of this swing, though.  The geese and the ball were a good four to five feet away from each other when the ball dove into the water. 
   Some other small bird also came close to getting hit when one of Vicki’s balls came within inches of it on hole #9.  Vicki knows what a real birdie is in golf (I'm pretty sure), but she claims near misses with birds are her “birdies.” 
   Vicki chose to use her beautiful red Nike utility club after her tee shot, a club (according to her) she either hits extremely well or… not.  She did have a gorgeous driver, too, a red and pink number with a pink breast cancer awareness ribbon swirling across the top.
   The bird ducked in mid-air.  It was a display of grace that I have never seen from a bird before, but I had a great view of it.  It had just taken flight when Vicki’s ball came screaming through.  The bird was flapping its wings, making a quick ascent, and then, with one wing pointing straight down, it purposely did not flap its other wing to keep that wing from rising up and possibly getting smashed.  It also ducked its little head slightly.  I am not making this up.  Birds change directions when they see cars or other birds coming; this scene was like that.  I laughed with delight and announced to Vicki and Joan, “That bird just ducked!” 
   It avoided the fate that another bird could not some twenty years ago, a bird that went “poof” when one of my sister’s golf balls made a direct hit.  I wasn't there, but my sister told me about it.  I guess that bird didn’t see it coming in time to duck, or maybe it didn’t see it coming at all.  Poor bird.  I picture the bird from Shrek when Princess Fiona sings, causing a bird to sing itself into an unavoidable explosion of feathers, but quicker and probably more violent.  Once again, poor bird.
   I did score two birdies of my own when I played on Planet VickiJoan, but they only got to see one of them.  I scored one on the first nine, and then one more after they had left.  No real birds were harmed or even scared.

Civitan-Hole #4-Birdie #11 of 2010

      I used my pitching wedge this time.  This was the same hole I put two over the fence when I last played with Vicki and Joan, the one where they insisted there was a strong breeze, but I knew better, so it felt great to get a birdie on this hole this go-around.
   My ball mark was just past the hole, less than three feet away.  My ball was about four feet past the hole.  My putt headed straight back in the direction of the teeing ground.  I had a thought right after I teed off that I might have scored my first ace.  It was close, but it wasn’t to be this time.  I made the putt.  I thought they would act like I was a rock star again, but they were less excited about this birdie than the one I had scored a year ago on hole #1 when we first played together.  As they get better, they are getting harder to impress, or maybe they expect this kind of thing from me all the time now.

Civitan-Hole #5-Birdie #12 of 2010

   After Vicki and Joan left for their iced coffees, I played alone for holes #1 through #3.  I was happy.  I was hoping to play alone for the rest of the round.  One guy was ahead of me, but I was taking my time on each hole on purpose.  Normally, I am very social on the golf course, but I just wanted to play alone this time.  Since it was so slow, though, the guy actually asked me to join him.  He was younger, covered with tattoos, and he was very nice.  I reluctantly agreed, but I hope it didn’t show.  His name is Casey.  I almost hit it over the fence, but it hit the fence and kicked back into play.  I said I was lucky, and he said, “I’d rather be lucky than good.”
   I earned a five on hole #4 this time around.  No birdie.  Then I made a smooth swing with my 8-iron on #5.  My ball was on the green directly to the right of the hole.  We were talking about the greens and how they were tricky.  For example, we had both taken extra putts on hole #3 to figure that green out.  I missed a putt for par there and tried to make it again, but I missed it left both times.  I told him some greens are flatter than others and the best bet is to go straight at the hole on those kinds of greens.  That is just what I did on this putt; I went right at the hole and it worked.  It was a putt from about fifteen to eighteen feet. 

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