This is No Fun-My Father's Death

Written on 9-17-24.

        This is no fun, but it’s a fact of life.  My father, Robert Gerard Swope, died on September 6th, 2024.  Since that time, it’s been a whirlwind of dealing with funeral arrangements, notifying friends and family, and, of course, having moments of utter sadness and loss.

Like my buddy Troy said, “You only have one father.”         

        I was blessed to be in the room when he breathed his last.  Belinda, Mom, and I were all there, and it was peaceful.  Honestly, it took us by surprise.  He was breathing in a raspy way, so it was obvious when he stopped.  I had just finished praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy with Mom, and we were visiting as I was eating some oatmeal.  I looked over at the time right after he died, and I was hoping it would be something I could remember.  It was.  It read 12:34.  I can remember that.  The date will be easy to remember, too.  It was on 9-06.  Our address is 906 Anasazi Drive.

Some fateful, serendipitous things happened following his death, too.  I will start with my iMissal app.  Every day, I read the Daily Bread bible verse in that app.  On the day he died, it was Matthew 5:6-Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.  

A day or so later, Bev shared what Dad had wanted for his service.  At the top of the paper were the readings.  The first one was…Matthew 5-12, the Beatitudes.

Then while getting lunch in the Springs at Jimmy John’s, I stayed in the car with Weston and Andrew while Bev went inside.  Grandpa Swope, during what Belinda and I call the “summer of the grandparents,” told me he enjoyed Tsing Tao beer.  I believe he said it was his favorite, so we enjoyed a couple of bottles together.  I remember he was just beginning to lose his memory that summer, too.  He would become frustrated and angry at forgetting certain words he knew he should have remembered.  I also remember it was a great tasting beer.

When I noticed the restaurant next door to Jimmy John’s, I was shocked when I saw the name.  It is called Tsing Tao House.  That is something very specific to what I would remember about my grandpa.  Sigh.

As I drove over Wolf Creek on the day after we had made arrangements with the funeral home, I played music I had bought on iTunes.  There is really only one song that would make me think explicitly of Dad.  Seriously.  What are the odds?  I have many songs, and it was just shuffling through.  We bought some of songs for Mom and Dad’s 50th anniversary celebration, and this was one of those songs.  One song stands out as a song for both of them: My Girl.  They also had a song similar to that one, and that’s the one that came on.  My Guy came on.  I listen to my own music quite a bit, and that one rarely, if ever, comes on.  As I type this, these all seem a little less sensational, but at those moments, there was no mistaking what was going on.  I felt Dad was speaking to me.  Or, Grandpa.  Or, probably God.  It was comforting, and I also had the reaction of, “Really!?” each time.

The visitation is this Thursday at the Swan Law Funeral Home from 5:00-8:00.  The funeral will be at Corpus Christi Parish, where Carter and Emily were married, on Friday at noon.  His burial will be on Saturday at the Eckley Cemetery at 1:00.  It’s going to be a long, exhausting weekend.  Kyle texted me to share his sympathy, and I replied that it was rough but beautiful.  That’s what I think this weekend will be like.  Rough, but also beautiful.