"Wasted Management" Open

Written on 2-13-17.

     It’s the day before Valentine’s Day, and I’m home alone.  It’s snowing, and Belinda is subbing at Park Avenue.  I won’t be alone tomorrow, thankfully.  She and I are heading to Ojo Caliente, and in a cool twist of fortune, I scheduled my next CORE visit there on the 15th and the 16th this month, so we get to stay at the Ojo Resort and Spa on Valentine’s Day; how romantic!

     For gifts this year, although we typically do not do gifts, we treated ourselves to some really fun things, but mine was definitely more expensive.  Belinda got three metal sunflower decorations to welcome people along the front sidewalk.  They really do add a warm welcome, and they also add cheer to an otherwise plain spot.

     I got a new iPhone 7 and a bonus iPad Mini 2.  It was part of a deal through AT&T to get a free iPad Mini.  They are both great, but they were not really necessary.  I was fine with my iPhone 5C, the only complaint being 16 GB of memory never seemed enough.  We can deduct the purchase for business, though.

On to golf…

     I have so much to catch up on.  First, Guy and I attended the Waste Management Open in Phoenix on the Saturday of the birthday celebration weekend.  Second, he and I played golf that Sunday at Papago, and it was phenomenal.  Third, I’ve played twice since we’ve come back home with C.J. and Bruce, and I managed one birdie in one round and a birdie and an eagle, my first eagle of the year, in the second round.  

     I coined the Waste Management Open the “Wasted Management Open,” because...
so many people were…well…wasted.  One of the funnier moments came when one young, drunk lady dropped her spray sunscreen under the rope, and it rolled a little bit down a hill.  She staggered back in her four to five inch heels to retrieve it, but changed her mind when she twisted her ankle  slightly and realized it would be way too much work to go under the rope, especially with the wave of the moving crowd crashing down upon her, so she just flipped around and stumbled away.  I, however, said, “I’ll get it.”

     She didn’t hear me, but I lifted the rope anyway, snatched it up, and carried it with us for the majority of hole #9’s fairway until we caught up with her.  She and her boyfriend were both so thankful when I gave it back to them, and they were equally surprised.  Guy and I chuckled as we walked away.

     We stayed away from going to hole #16, the stadium par three hole.  The lines to get in were way too long, and I specifically wanted to follow two players, so we switched from our strategy when we were at the Masters.  Instead of finding a great spot and watching players come through like a parade, we chose to follow two groups.  I really wanted to see Brooks Koepka and J.B. Holmes, two great players who are both long and accurate drivers of the golf ball.  They were also on the 2016 Ryder Cup team, the winning Ryder Cup team, and Brooks went 3-1-0 to help them win.  

     It was fate the way we so easily found both players.  When we first walked in, we headed over to hole #10 after getting some directions from some workers.  Right when we walked up to the fairway, Koepka’s group was teeing off.  We followed them all the way to hole #15, but stopped when they entered the stadium.  We really were impressed with Lovemark when he eagled the 558 yard, par five, #13.  Wow!  His approach landed within three feet!  

     After #15, it was a great time to take a break and eat some food, so we did.  As we wandered around with our Dasani’s and our kraut dogs looking for a place to sit and watch some more golf, we meandered over a hill to a green where some players were about to make their approach shots.  As they got closer, I recognized J.B. Holmes, and when we saw his name on the signboard, it was a certainty.  I remarked to Guy how amazing it was that the two players I wanted to see ended up playing right where we walked up both times.

     Following J.B. Holmes was special to me, since he has had a brain surgery, too.  As we followed his group, a few times, he was less than an arm’s length away, so I got a little bit of the gushy stomach feeling from being so close to an idol/star.  I had a similar feeling in high school when I came so close to Alex English, another role model I admire.  This time, though, with my age and experience, I understand better that they are just people like the rest of us.

     A couple of times, I was nearly brave enough to either talk to his caddy to ask if I could meet him, or shout out, “Hey, J.B., I survived a brain surgery just like you!”

     But, I didn’t.  He was working.  I didn’t want to bother him.

     I’m glad we went.  It was a fluke that we even went to the tournament.  First, it was Curt’s idea, but he couldn’t even make the trip.  He just thought it would be a fun birthday weekend thing.  He was right.  Second, I called the TPC Course to see if Guy and I might be able to play there.  We couldn’t.  The course was closed due to a tournament, the Waste Management Open.  So, we decided to go watch the pro’s one day instead of trying to play there. 

     I thought it was fun to catch a glimpse of something that most people wouldn’t when we were on hole #11’s teeing ground.  Before he teed off, Lovemark received a baggie with two big homemade cookies from some girl, possibly his girlfriend.  He shrugged, smiled, and then stuffed them in his golf bag.  It appeared that he thought it was a bit ridiculous to get some cookies in the middle of a tournament, but he also enjoyed the sentiment.  

     Guy and I were members of a record crowd that Saturday, too.  I think the final total for that day was 204,906.  Many of the patrons were not what I would call golf fans, though.  It was more like what B and I call a “meat market.”  I felt like I was back in college on spring break in California again.  It was a festive atmosphere, no doubt, but it was a bit too much for me.  

     The tournament was the main event for Guy and me, but it was more of a sideshow for the majority of the people there.  It was comparable to a social gathering, and oh, by the way, professional athletes are competing for millions of dollars somewhere nearby.  A frequent sight included marshals holding up their “quiet, please” signs and being ignored.  It varied depending on which hole we were on, but the only people who would usually get quiet were the ones right next to the marshals.            

     One marshal on the tee box on hole #13 saw what he thought was an inappropriate shirt.  He informed a police officer, but I don’t know if he did anything about it.  This shirt summed up well what some of the fans were like.  It read, “Drop putts, bang *rhyming word.”  

     As we left, a large sign thanked all of us for coming to the People’s Open.  That was an appropriate title, and it was a golf experience unlike any other, that’s for sure.  I’m no stuffed shirt, but some of the behavior was awful.  Another example of the bad behavior was when a few people stole water bottles right off of a cart that was stuck in the slow-moving crowd.  Good grief.  Thankfully, the worker in the passenger seat noticed right away and put a stop to it immediately by grabbing the hand of one of the thieves and cursing.